Archive for the ‘Chocolate’ Category

It's not poo.  Promise.

Made with shelf-stable, inexpensive ingredients, this is one of my cheap favorites.


3 tablespoons liquid sweetener (sugar syrup, maple syrup, agave nectar, or honey)

1/3 cup Hershey’s cocoa powder

1 teaspoon vanilla extract (check that it says gluten-free)

1 package Mori-Nu Firm Tofu (more…)

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One of my odd hobbies is checking out the gluten-free sections of the various grocery stores in my area. If you’re in Austin, one of biggest I have seen is at 183 and Braker. They have gluten-free ladyfingers, made by a popular European gluten-free manufacturer called Schar. (That’s with an umlaut, if anyone wants to tell me the HTML for “umlaut”.) I have no idea what you make with ladyfingers other than trifle, but, here is a very cheap version of classic British trifle.


Cool Whip in the pressurized can. (It keeps forever in the refrigerator, while simultaneously being fun because of the nitrous oxide.) (more…)

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And then some days, you just get disgusted.  I was talking to someone on an online dating site, I won’t tell you which one, except that it rhymes with Hague’slist.  I’m charmed by the man I’m talking to.  He’s erudite, he’s witty, and when he finally sent me a picture, he was old enough to be my grandpa.  (Except you sir, are not as good looking as either my Black Irish or my 1/8th African American Grandpa.)

In honor of him, it was time to make chocolate cake.  And, yeah, I know–it’s just one piece.  Something, uh, happened to the rest.*

To make a really moist cake, you don’t need an oven.  You need a rice cooker.


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It’s 100 degrees outside, but inside my little ranchita, it’s slightly too cold.  Yeah, there is a Trane on the roof, but at twenty years old, it kind of does “too-hot-on-the-second-floor” or “too-dang-cold-on-the-first”.   (And,”No, I don’t have dual-zone thermostats,” you pretentious yuppie.)

I’ve been at home for much of the day, finishing what is essentially a very long paper–it’s an appeal on an assault–for someone who is likely to spend a much longer time in a place that is way too hot. *

I’m cold, and the usual caffeine just isn’t cutting it, and I still have to do page numbers, and it’s 6:00 p.m.   In honor of the person for whom the, ahem, paper, was written, I decided to make hot chocolate with cinnamon and red pepper, like they do in Mexico.

This is the thing about chocolate–lots of manufacturers cut their cocoa powder with wheat.  Hershey’s does not, so it’s good for this recipe.

8 tablespoons Hershey’s Cocoa Powder

8 tablespoons sugar

2 cups almond milk

2 cups water

dash of sea salt

sprinkle of crushed red pepper (The one with the girl in the sombrero on the label, from the mexican foods aisle, is cheaper.)

dash of cinnamon (or 1/4 teaspoon, for those of you who actually have measuring spoons)

Kitchen apparati:

1 tablespoon

1 measuring cup


small prayer for the downtrodden, preferably in Spanish.

Pour all the ingredients into the pan.  Stir well with the tablespoon.  Heat on medium for about thirty minutes, to give the spices time to infuse.  Let cool for about another thirty minutes.  Count your blessings.

This is particularly good at about midnight on ice.

Cost:  About $3.00 for four servings.

*That would be the TDCJ, not hell.

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